HUSBANDS: BEAUTIFY YOURSELVES FOR YOUR WIVES AND HELP IN THE HOME – By Umm Salamah [Sh.Muqbils Wife]

HUSBANDS: BEAUTIFY YOURSELVES FOR YOUR WIVES AND HELP IN THE HOME

Allah says:

“And the women have the same rights as those that are over them from what is reasonable.”
[Sooratul-Baqarah 2: 228]

Al-Haafidh Ibn Katheer in his explanation of this verse said:
“It means that they have rights over the men similar to the rights that the men have over them. So giving each other their mutual rights is obligatory from what is reasonable…

Wakee’ said on the authority Basheer ibn Sulaymaan, on the authority of ‘Ikramah, on the authority of Ibn ‘Abbaas who said:

“Verily I love to beautify myself for my wife just as I love my wife to beautify themselves for me because Allah says:
“And the women have the same rights as those that are over them from what is reasonable.”
[Sooratul-Baqarah 2: 228]

If a man beautifies himself, it helps the woman in lowering her gaze and it helps to bring the hearts close together.
Some men go to their wives and they are unkempt, dirty, and foul smelling. He bathes and perfumes himself to go out with his friends, but when he returns he is as I mentioned earlier which causes dislike in the heart and disgust in the soul.
Just as you ask your wife, when she is in front of you, to be beautiful looking and pleasant smelling, she also asks this of you. She has feelings just as you do, and she has senses just as you do. Men, fear Allah in yourselves and in your women.”
Helping her with housework

‘Aa’ishah (radiallaahu anha) was asked, “What does the Messenger of Allah (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) do with his family?” She said: “He was busy with his family until it was time to pray and then he prayed.” [Saheeh al-Bukhari]

On the authority of al-Qaasim, on the authority of ‘Aa’ishah (radiallaahu ‘anhaa) that he asked, “What did he Messenger of Allah (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) do in his house?” She said: “He was a man among men, he cleaned his garment, he milked his sheep and he served himself.” [Ahmad with an authentic chain]

On the authority of ‘Urwah ibn az-Zubayr, on the authority of ‘Aa’ishah (radiallaahu ‘anhaa) that he asked, “What did the Messenger of Allah (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) do in his house?” She said: “He mended his garment, patched his shoes and he did in his house what men do in their houses.” [Ahmad with an authentic chain]

The female student of Islamic knowledge especially needs her husband’s help in raising the children and caring for them, in order for her to study from the Qur’an and Sunnah what is needed for her to practice her religion and assist her in bringing up her children in a proper and sound way. We ask Allah to guide our men

Source: Umm Salamah as-Salafiyyah – Excerpt from her book: Supporting the Rights of Believing Women 

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Which is better for the Muslim woman- Seeking Knowledge or Taking care of the house?- Shaykh Saalih al-Fawzaan

Question: Which is better for a Muslim woman, taking care of her house and husband, or devoting her time to seeking knowledge, and bringing a servant to take care of the house?

Answer: Yes, it is obligatory for a Muslim woman to strive to understand her religion as much as possible, but serving her husband, obeying her husband and raising her children are also important obligations. She should make time to learn every day, even if it is only a little. Or she should put aside some time for reading and then the rest of her time will be for her daily work. In this way she will not be neglecting learning and she will not be neglecting her work and children and leaving them to a servant to look after. Seeking balance in this matter, by setting aside time for learning, even if it is a little, and time for her housework, will be sufficient for her.

Shaykh Saalih al-Fawzaan – al-Fataawa al-Jaami’ah li’l-Mar’ah al-Muslimah, part 3, p. 1085

Wives Preventing Polygyny

Source: silsilat ul-hudaa wa nnoor – the series of guidance and light – tape no. 787

Polygyny : The condition or practice of having more than one wife at one time.

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This is a much needed admonition to the muslimaat upon the sunnah, and may Allaah grant both men and women the akhlaaq (manners) to deal with such situations. shaykh al-albaani (rahimahullaah) says:

“Of course, I believe that that is not allowed for (the woman) (to come between her husband and polygyny) because of two reasons: The first (reason) is that she is hindering (her husband) from the path of Allaah, and other (reason) is that she is opposing the command of her husband. Because you know…that the obedience of a woman to her husband is obligatory the way the matter is with regard to the obedience of an individual from the individual members of a nation toward the Muslim ruler, with an obedience which I don’t say is blind but rather a complete obedience, except what is made an exception in the islamic legislation, which is (obeying someone) in disobedience to Allaah. And from this results islamically legislated rulings which (state) that if the Muslim ruler commands that which is fundamentally allowed, this command becomes obligatory for the one who is commanded with it to carry it out, because it is the command of the ruler. Exactly likewise is the command with respect to the husband with his wife.

So if the husband commands his wife with some command while that command is allowed in the foundation of the islamic legislation and while the woman is able to carry it out, then it is obligatory upon her to obey him. And if she does not obey him, then she has disobeyed Allaah and His Messenger [sallAllaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam]. So, concerning that which the woman undertakes of using hindrances that come between her husband and that which he wants to attain from what Allaah, the Mighty and Majestic, has allowed, let alone if the allowed (matter) is that which is desirable (and) permissible, then no doubt she will be disobedient twice over. The first time is that which preceded when I mentioned that indeed she is cutting off the path (of Allaah); and the other matter is that she is opposing her husband in a command that she has no right to oppose while she is able (to obey his command) and while he is not commanding or not wanting to do (an act of) disobedience to Allaah.”

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Source : Asaheeha Translations

PS : Webster’s New World Dictionary defines Polygamy as “the practice of having two or more wives or husbands at the same time.” Since Muslim women are not allowed to have two or more husbands at the same time, let’s find a better word: Polygyny. The same dictionary defines polygyny as “a practice of having two or more wives at the same time.” Polyandry (Greek: poly- many, andros- man) refers to a form of marriage in which a woman has two or more husbands at the same time

Considerations a young lady should make when choosing a husband

Question: What are the most important considerations a young lady should make when choosing a husband? If she refuses someone simply for economic or worldly reasons, will that expose her to the punishment of Allaah?

Response: The most important attributes that a woman must look for in selecting a husband are character and piety. Wealth and lineage are secondary considerations. The most important aspect is that the proposed groom be a person of piety and proper behavior. The person of proper behaviour and piety will not do his wife wrong. Either he will keep her in a way that is proper or he will leave her to go free in the best way.

Furthermore, the person of religion and behavior may be a blessing for her and her children. She may learn manners and religion from him. If he does not have those characteristics, she should stay away from him, especially if he is one of those who is lax with respect to performing the prayers or if he is known to drink alcohol, may Allaah save us. As for those who never pray, they are disbelievers. Believing women are not permissible for them nor are they permissible for the believing women. The important point is that the woman should stress character and piety. If he is also of a noble lineage, that is to be preferred. This is due to the Messenger of Allaah’s (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) statement:

«If a person whose religion and character you approve of comes to you, then marry him».

However, if he is also suitable [in other ways, such as economics standing and so forth], that is better.

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen | Fataawa al-Mar’ah | Published: 18 October 1999

DOES THE MOTHER IN-LAW HAVE RIGHTS OVER THE WIFE?

Shaykh Uthaymeen rahimahullah

Questioner: First, verily we love you for the sake of Allah, O Shaykh. The question, may Allah reward you with good: Does the mother of the husband have rights over his wife?

Shaykh Uthaymeen: No. The mother of the husband does not have rights of his wife; but it is from kindness, and goodness, and this will induce love from her husband; is for her to take care of her interest, and to serve her in the easy affairs. And when the morning comes she greets her with good morning O so and so, or mother of so and so, or auntie. This is good; as for an obligation upon her, then no. This is because living with them in an honorable manner is between the husband and the wife.

Translated by Rasheed ibn Estes Barbee

Source: http://mtws.posthaven.com/does-the-mother-in-law-have-rights-over-the-wife-answered-by-shaykh-uthaymeen

If the wife works with good salary, does the husband still have to provide?

Question:

If the wife has a job and she receives a good salary, is it incumbent upon the husband to provide for her? And what will the situation be, if his income is little?

Answer:

It is an obligation upon the husband to provide for his wife, even if she has a good salary, because his providing for her is in return for the pleasure which he gets from her – even though his income may be little, unless the woman is good-natured and is indulgent towards her husband regarding provision, then the matter is up to her.

Shaykh Muhammad bin Saalih al-`Uthaymeen

Fatawa Islamiyyah, Darussalam, volume 5, pages 183/184

The Ruling on Giving a Daughter in Marriage to One Who Does Not Pray

Question:

One of my kin has proposed to my daughter and I am under an obligation to him, (for example, for having lent him money, or shown some kindness to him etc.) but he is addicted to alcohol and he keeps company with bad people and prays little, or does not pray at all. He is also addicted to watching videos and television and other time-wasting devices and I am in difficulty regarding him. I request clarification of the ruling of Islam in the matter.

Answer:

If the person proposing to your daughter is as you have described him, then it is not permissible for you to give her in marriage to him, because she is a trust in your hands, so it is incumbent for you to choose for her the most righteous man in his religion and his character.

It is not permissible for a person who does not pray to be married to a Muslim woman who does pray, since he is not a suitable match for her, because abandoning the prayer is an act of major disbelief, according to the saying of the Prophet sallallaahu alayhi was salam:

‘Between a man and polytheism and disbelief is the abandonment of prayer.’ (muslim no.82)

And the saying of the Prophet sallallaahu alayhi was salam:

‘The covenant between us and them is prayer; whoever abandons it has committed an act of disbelief.’ (At-tirmithi no. 2621)

Narrated by Imam Ahmad and the compilers of the Sunan, with an authentic chain of narrators.

There are many other evidences in the Book (of Allaah) and the Sunnah which prove the disbelief of one who abandons the prayer, even if he does not reject its obligation, according to the most correct of two opinions held by the scholars. However, if he rejects its obligation or mocked it, then he is guilty of major disbelief according to the consensus of the Muslims.

As for the one who drinks alcohol but prays, he is not guilty of disbelief by doing this, as long as he does not claim that it is permissible, but he has committed a major sin and he has gone astray thereby. Therefore, it is lawful for you not to give her in marriage to him, even if he prays, due to his sin and because he might lead his wife and children to this great crime.

We ask Allaah to improve the situation of the Muslims and guide them to His Straight Path, and to preserve us and them from obeying vain desires and Satan, for verily, He is Most Generous, Most Noble.

Shaykh `Abdul-`Azeez Bin Baz

Fatawa Islamiyyah, Darussalam, volume 5, pages 173/174